BROKEN

Cavalcadeofstars proudly debuts Col Bury of Thrillers, Killers ‘N’ Chillers and his new Col Bury New Crime Fiction Spots.

BROKEN
by Col Bury

He sipped his Jack Daniels and began to reminisce…

‘Don’t be silly, son. I’ll always be around,’ were his dad’s last words to him before he’d run off with that harlot.

A home, broken.

‘I’ll stop drinking one day, kidder.’ But his mum didn’t — liver failure.

A bond, broken.

His army days were his escape, Johnny’s shoulder a comfort. The days of his life: the laughs, the banter. They traveled across barren terrain. He recalled the jokes were flying, the laughter peaking, when the bomb struck. He was blasted clear of the vehicle and hobbled back to the burning wreck, ears burning, his leg broken. Johnny was in two halves.

His body, broken. Years of numbness, solitude followed.

Then he met her, in a bar. Her smile was enough and he loved her from that moment on. Engulfed by happiness, marriage followed plus the obligatory two kids. He taught them values, loyalty: his life whole again.

Then she met HIM.
Vows, broken.

Sucking hard on his cigarette he deliberated his next move, considering his kids. ‘I’ll always be there for you,’ he’d said.

But he’d come full circle. A promise, broken. He gazed at the revolver. A man, broken.

© Col Bury December 2009

Bio:
Col Bury is the award-winning co-editor of award-winning ezine,Thrillers, Killers ‘n’ Chillers, and his crime novels are being touted by a NY agent. Col’s short stories can be found in anthologies, and scattered around the blogosphere. He blogs, reviews, and interviews crime authors at http://colburysnewcrimefiction.blogspot.com/ and has a newwebsite:
http://colburysnewcrimefiction.wordpress.com/

Regards,
Col

Tenacity is key.
http://colburysnewcrimefiction.blogspot.com/

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About vision791

Pushcart nominee Jeanette Cheezum has been published on several online writing sites and in fifteen Anthology books and four poetry books. Three of these books have made the New York Times Best Sellers list. Awarded The Helium Networks Premium Writer’s Badge, Bronze Creative Writing Award and a Marketplace Writers award. Recently she has published thirteen ebooks at Barnes and Noble and Amazon. You may find a list of some of her work at www.hamptonroadswriters.org
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21 Responses to BROKEN

  1. This one broke me up Col.

    ~ Absolutely*Kate

  2. Diana E. Backhouse says:

    Promises come cheap. There is usually a high price to pay for broken promises. You have expressed this so well in your short story. So many chapters in so few words!

  3. Fantastic. Intense.

  4. Matt Hilton says:

    Loved this first time around, still love it now. Very poignant.

  5. Col Bury says:

    Hey, Jeanette!

    This was a pleasant surprise, as I trudge about getting ready for work when I just wanna write (sighs).

    I’ve always had a soft spot for this piece, so thanks for the kind words everyone.

    And Jeanette, it’s great to be one of your ‘stars’! 🙂

  6. Charlie Wade says:

    I liked this one, it works all the way. Good stuff.

  7. Col, I like the way you let the word and notion of “broken” tell the story! A good one, though unfortunately more common than we want to know in the Real World.

  8. Chad Rohrbacher says:

    One positive thing is he broke the circle.

  9. Laurita says:

    Very intense. Promises are easy to make, not so easy to keep. Very well done.

  10. David Barber says:

    A great piece of writing, Col. A very true to life piece that is full of emotion. I’ve not read this one before and I’d say it’s one of your best ones. Quite right that you are proud of it. Nice work, mate!

  11. nigel says:

    It’s a lovely piece. The repetition of broken really gives it a rhythm and you know there are more coming – you just don’t know what they might be.
    It’s rather touching.
    Nice work.
    nigel

  12. SueH says:

    A very finely executed study here! Well done Mr Bury, sir.

  13. Col is raw and real not one ounce of bullshit in the man. And here he shows he can conjure pain from the page with a poetry that is subtle and exact.

  14. Chris Rhatigan says:

    Poetic, sad, and smart. A tough slice of reality, Mr. Bury.

  15. Lily Childs says:

    The sadness is that right from the outset he reached for that spark of promise, showing there can be hope in diversity. But despite all he did – he still ended up broken. Tight and emotional – a great read, as always.

  16. Col Bury says:

    Wow.
    Wonderful comments from people I admire – should keep me floating amid the rat-racers until the next time! 🙂
    Heartfelt thanks,
    Col

  17. I had read that one on your new website, and liked it just as much this time around. Well done

  18. Madam Z says:

    So sad. So real. So well told.

  19. Col Bury says:

    Many thanks to all who took the time to read and/or comment.
    It was a pleasure being over here, Jeanette.
    Cheers,
    Col

  20. Joyce Juzwik says:

    Very moving piece, Col. The use of the word ‘broken’ says it all. There are so many words that could be used to convey despair and loss, but none hit home as strongly as ‘broken’. That implies an end, a kind of finality, and that’s the saddest of all. So much said here in so few words. Even though he had the strength to end the cycle where his children were concerned, unfortunately, for him, there was no chance for peace in his life. Poetic indeed.

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