Remember the end, for it was the ripping open
of innocence and fairy hope. It was a necessary
falling, a compacting of all the extremities,
a slicing off of unworkable dreams.
That end towers within you and remains a pinnacle
of freedom. Though freedom is sometimes
harsh and cold, it is also the place of only
true attachments, and so, there are so few,
but enough to sing about. It is worth that year
of difficult breathing, worth the reformation of
your core. You hold your own. You are
remade and powerful. Child awoken to
the world. Child, still as beautiful
as when you were born – ethereal, holier
than us all.
At one end are the setting shapes
of friendships left behind
like the breaking of a mug
or a foggy window.
I leave that end and hold no other.
I stand on the crust of a sandy shore.
Together I swam through the salty flavour
with a dolphin by my side. Alone,
I leave my companion and the waves that serve me no more.
There are things I wish for like
pineapple and starfish fruit. There are
times I believe in the hot sands, believe
in the beautiful face of loneliness. I wave
at the birds and they follow me. I lay still
and the air has filled my thirst. On the
grassy green beyond I know one day I will
move. I know of proud children smiling at the
stars. I know there is nothing that can kill
the large immaculate Love. I died with my flesh.
I am born a new way, cut off from last-year’s persona.
I look to the water – its depths
no longer take me in, its blue is but a shallow tone. I close my eyes
and rains descend like an artist’s stroke,
making patterns on the naked land.
Allison Grayhurst is a member of the League of Canadian Poets. She has over 550 poems published in more than 275 international journals and anthologies. Her book Somewhere Falling was published by Beach Holme Publishers in 1995. Since then she has published eleven other books of poetry and six collections with Edge Unlimited Publishing. Prior to the publication of Somewhere Falling she had a poetry book published, Common Dream, and four chapbooks published by The Plowman. Her poetry chapbook The River is Blind was published by Ottawa publisher above/ground press in December 2012. In 2014 her chapbook Surrogate Dharma was published by Kind of a Hurricane Press, Barometric Pressures Author Series in October 2014. More recently, she has a chapbook Currents pending publication this August with Pink.Girl.Ink. Press. She lives in Toronto with her family. She also sculpts, working with clay; http://www.allisongrayhurst.com